Last night, I missed my little brother Ricky, so much it hurt for the first time since his passing. I had what I always call, my monthly rock bottom. Since I began writing, I have those simple, little moments when all hell breaks loose and I feel that this train ride is never going to end. Your human, I know you get these too, you probably just call this something different though. I crash, basically, if I were a computer, it would be my moment of control, alt, delete! I let my emotions flow and always wake up and read my posts and think, “Good God, that is insane”, then, I immediately feel better and go on and work on that writer’s grind!

When Ricky was here, I would hit these moments of stagnation and he would always have a kind word or a gigantic, teddy bear hug and say “It’s all good bro!” The truth is, no matter what, I am grateful, I have a roof, a car, a job, three wonderful boys, a family, a heartbeat! My moments, to me, are not crying over pity, it is my way, I guess, that my brain restarts its evaluation process to find success. It reminds me that I am human and grounds me from forgetting why I write, to create something out of nothing!

Barney & Lexi are being sent off to an editing house for a refine and it is actually reasonably priced! I will then repackage it and take another swing at the literary agency that almost took it on! Hey, no trying will always leave me wondering and life is too short for that. Marky, Slash & Levy is going to get the same thing, however, 1,000 pages is a wee bid more that 25. I will chip away and do one book at a time on it.

Alligator Juniper responded to my submission of B&L into their Literary Prize Contest. It was a form letter of appreciation but it was being turn down type of mailing, but attached to it was a seperate Post It stuck to it saying that many on it’s staff loved reading it but since it was for children it was not eligable for the contest. They asked me to send something again, should I write adult material. I am so grateful for the invite, but I believe my chances of writing for adults is slim. I have help a friend work on her adult project, and hope to again when I clear things up, it is darker but I am just really into stories for young readers.

As Lynden spends the night and is almost asleep in the living room next to me, I can’t help but smile! Knowing my brother is here with me and is saying, “It’s all good bro!” Live With Passion!!

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